No Bones Broken

But much money spent.

More on our top story later in this blog.

In other news, Saddam Hussein has been captured and now will face an international court of trial for crimes against humanity. Good.

Back on the domestic homefront:

This morning I woke up with a cough. We all know where that came from, don't we?*

And now for the story you've all been waiting for:

How I Spent Last Saturday Night in the Emergency Room* Waiting Room...

Last night, Saturday, I checked myself into Eden Hospital's Emergency at 8:35 PM. I forgot to bring my cell phone. I was released at 12:30 AM with this diagnosis: bruised left hand and wrist caused by fall from roller-blading. (I tried to explain it was roller-skating but no one was particularly interested in the details.) Prognosis: Wear this splint and take 600 mg of Ibuprofen 3 times a day until hand feels better.

(For those slow at computing -- that's 1800 mg of Ibuprofen a day. That's 3 pills a meal, 9 pills a day. That's more pain medication I've ever taken in pill form in my entire life, including when I had my open heart surgery in '85. Pain medication delivered through an I.V. line at that time.)

This morning I made myself a french toast breakfast. Single-handedly, I might add. Also, I single-handedly brushed my teeth, I single-handedly type this, and soon, I will single-handedly shower, dress, clean my room, and single-handedly, I will pack for my Utah trip.

I hope Firmino's play was good! Too bad I won't get to see it now that I'm broke from single-handedly driving myself to the hospital and single-handedly getting my hurt hand looked at.

Here's the bad stuff about hurting one hand:

1. It hurts!!

2. Long, boring wait in unsanitory, infectious-disease-spreading Emergency Waiting Rooms.* (*--how I woke up with a cough this morning)

3. Expensive.

4. Things -- I mean everything -- takes a lot longer.

The good stuff about hurting one arm:

1. You use muscles long forgotten...the kind of muslces that require an imagination to enable them (for instance, those muscles used when single-handedly washing your hair, single-handedly cooking a french toast breakfast, single-handedly etc.)

2. You get pity calls from everyone.

3. You use your time in the waiting room to study for your ADGTP test and so feel that time was not wasted.

4. If you remember (which I did), you tape SNL and so 1) you do not lose any sleep staying up to watch it (which is a mute point for me because I stayed up all night at the hospital), 2) you have something to look forward to after all your hard work (of dressing, cleaning up room, packing for Utah, getting some exercise, and studying some more for the ADGTP test) is done. Plus, 3), you can zip through the commercials! Yay!!

As you can see, the bad and the good are on an equal standing, unless you count the good's #4 extra because it numbers at least 2 extra beneficial parts. Except that it does suck I may not be able to help much / hold Andy too well when I'm in Utah, which knocks it all down to an equal sucky level.

Ce la vie.