Weight: Poundage unknown but large, huge, monstrously disastrous-&-unwanted-type number; alcohol units consumed: 0 (v.g.); cigarettes: 0 (v.g. but usual as have never smoked in life); lines learned: 0; ability to speak with a convincing Belfast accent: not possessed.  Hours spent reading the Bridget Jones sequel last night: all but 2.  Minutes late to work this morning: 19.  
8:39 AM 
Groggy but strangely aware of this elucidation:
Reason self's life is screwy can be found in own self.
More specifically, in own self's time-management problem.
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