caroworld

the house always has a warm scent. stu burns incense. he doesn't over do it. but he must burn it every day or regularly at least. i like it. i'm used to it now.

tonight is the first night i sleep here. my room is ready, but it's empty. i have five candles burning in there. because i haven't been allowed to burn one at my parent's house! i got the idea because i still don't have curtains. i want to get a certain curtain rod with glass globes at the end i saw at ikea. truly lovely. but they were out. so i'll wait. so the window is bare. it's a big window. and although it has a great view of the creek, someone mentioned to me that while it's dark and empty looking out there, someone could still see in if they wanted. so i got the idea to hit the lights and burn candles when i changed. but now it's bedtime so the candles will have burnt for all of 10 minutes. oh well. it's like a nice ritual though.

i like it here.

i'll be in another play in february called the smallest of all. it's about bernadette .. the healing waters of lourdes. it's quite...hmm...how should i put this? the characters are distinct and colorful, easy to grasp. i'll be the mother, louise. so i go from luisa in the lorca play to louise. i was irish, i'm spanish now, and next month, french :) i love theatre. the only problem with all this is now i have a lot of lines to learn and very little time. because tomorrow night i have to move all my clothes and stuff here. i have just enough for tonight and work tomorrow. but i have all the things i adore that i want to put up...still so much to do..cleaning, grocery shopping, etc and no faksjdfoiawjefoi time! but now i'm at least living here. and tuesday starts the rehearsals and performances again. and fdiajsdfiajw i forgot to email everyone about it. i'm out of contact with about 3 people. ..sorry. so fwiefjiwh busy with auditions, moving, rehearsals, and basic nonsense.

i'm so sleeeeeepy too now. stu finally went to bed. that's why i'm blogging so late. can't do it with him over my shoulder. need my privacy.

for what? like i ever bare my soul or open my heart here anyways. i can only hint. you who know me know all though. anyway, i have my places i spill the beans. or rattle them 'bout my head. i've been listening to this great song, some opera song, this guy from the lorca play burned it for me, i love it, it's sexy but very sad and i listen to it and sometimes i cry, okay, not like balling, but tear up, even in public. usually on bart when i look out the window and my thoughts wander and i listen to the song so then i have to turn it off. but i listened to it constantly for a while and i didn't even realize how nutty i was acting and why was i doing that? listening and listening to it when it makes me really sad and want to cry? because of what it makes me think about. so now i'm all sad again. god i'm stupid stop reading this.