Love my mom

I love my mom. This is my mom:

- She calls whenever I begin a new job. Her biggest fears: the company is not real, the company is real but will soon be bankrupt, the company is not really offering me any of the benefits I have told her about, and/or her daughter will never be paid. (Nor have any time off.)

- She calls because she is worried the art store where I have begun working is not a real art store, but some sort of fictitious establishment, a grand scheme (indeed, a conspiracy) created to cover up the greater evil of having her innocent, hardworking daughter conned, duped, and coherced into being the painting slave for an unscrupulous "developer." Or so he calls himself. Flimsy excuse.

(I later point out the store is an actual, physical store where supplies are daily arriving, and I know that I am being paid $%&#, but I want to work there. But as often happens, and I am loathe to admit this, but in this case I am making a point here, my mother is often right. And soon I quit because I do find myself to be, essentially, a lowly-paid drudge.)

- She calls to remind me about everything. (Who needs a calender? I have my mother.)

- She calls to tell me to call her, she misses me.

- She calls to ask me what I want for my birthday.

- Then she calls again to remind me I still haven't called her. (She still misses me.)

- She calls to tell me she has bought a present for me to give so-and-so, don't worry, it's exactly what they want, and she knows I wanted to do my own shopping this year, but if I really want to do that, that's fine with her, although this gift she found was on sale and would save me a trip and she can take the payment off my debt, and oh, by the way, would I like her to wrap it for me? (It's so convenient, the gift is right there, the wrapping paper and bows are just upstairs, and -- here's the kicker -- my mom really enjoys this and it would give her something to do.)

- Then she calls and leaves a message for me because she knows I wear contact lenses and Bausch and Lomb are recalling their multi-purpose brand saline solution because it can cause eye fungus or infection problems. She repeats the name Bausch and Lomb maybe five times in the message, warns me again and again of the problem, and has all her facts straight about the recall. (She might have warned me about the dangers of eye infections, or threw in 'permanent damage' ...I can't remember any more.)

She does all this for me, and do you know what happens?

I no longer work as a drudge, my gift shopping for the holiday season is going to be easy, I'm getting what I want and need for my birthday, I find out tonight the headache I've had all day might have something to do with the fact that I've been using the recalled toxic Bausch and Lomb brand multi-purpose saline solution all week, I know my mom loves and cares for and misses me...

and I love her too.